Hello everyone!
This is a repost from January 2022 when I first started Breadcrumbs. I figure you most likely haven’t read this as readership has increased to over 33,000 since then (thank you!).
I’ve been meaning to be posting more regularly but May is not a good time for me with final assessments and exams. Anyone else feeling the pressure this time of year?
I wrote these tips last year to help me tap into my soul. What does that mean? It’s to connect with our true nature of course! For somebody first starting out, these are tips I’ve found helpful for returning home. Practice these with patience, compassion and love. Your ego may be resistant at the start because it thinks it knows the path, it’s led the way for so long. It doesn’t want to give up control. That’s okay, don’t become discouraged. This work takes time. Be loving and gentle with yourself, you’ve got this!
Recognise and name your ego voice. Make all the different voices of your ego a character. For a start, I have Judge Margaret presiding over the verdict (guilt), bitchy teenager Cindy Lou (jealously), spiralling cappuccino addict Thomas (anxiety), there’s the whole cast of West Side story living in my head. You might meet them later if you’re lucky (or unlucky) lol. Re-reading this 18 months later, it’s evident to me how quiet these voices are, in fact I hardly hear from them anymore - proof that things can and do get better I promise!
Daily meditation with a focus on loving awareness. I love this album from Ram Dass and East Forest, but you might prefer another voice, figure out what appeals to you. When I first started I couldn’t do longer than 10 minutes, now I happily do 1 hour, it doesn’t take long to get addicted, it’s my happy place.
Practice deep listening. Check in with your loved ones and really listen to them. Look them in the eyes, be silent, resist the urge to give them advice or compare your experience to theirs. Just listen. Ask questions to encourage them to think deeper. Be understanding without judgement. The best therapist I ever had simply listened to me compassionately. She didn’t tell me to do anything.
Forgiveness. I like to think about people I really don’t like and practice sending them love and forgiveness. I practice seeing them for who they really are (a soul just like me) and loving them. This was really hard for me at first, but with consistent practice it gets easier. You could try writing them a letter, they don’t ever have to see it, but it helps articulating your feelings.
Listen to music or watch movies that speak to your soul. I’ve realised why I love musicals so much, they really speak to my soul. My current favourite is Moana, highly recommend.
Examine the habits of your daily life that feed your ego. What are they? How do you feel when you engage with them? Do less of what feeds your ego and more of what feeds your soul. For example, my 12 step skincare routine or countless mirror selfies feed my ego, not my soul. What do you call ‘mine’ that you can let go of?
Examine the habits of your daily life that connect you to your soul. This could be responding to somebody who hurt you with kindness, singing along to your favourite Disney song, or cooking your partner their favourite dish.
Practice mindfulness. You can do this in any activity, simply remind yourself to be present. Be that when you’re washing the dishes, having a shower, making the bed, writing an essay. Stay in the moment.
Repeat a mantra. Keep it simple and repeat it to yourself when you need it. I find my anxious voices are most active at 5am in the morning, I greet them like old friends and love them with “you are safe, you are loved, you are good.” Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Silence. Combining both mindfulness and meditation, I will practice doing a task such as hanging out the washing or making jewellery in silence with no music. I will also practice meditation without guidance, just breath in/breath out. My only guideline: the moment is all that matters.
Take 1 deep breath. Only have 30 seconds? Try deep belly breathing, in through your nostrils to the count of 4 and out through your nostrils to the count of 8. You’ll instantly feel better.
Let me know if you practice any of these and find them helpful, I’d love to know if you have any tips below.
Sending many warm hugs!
Madalin xxx
Wonderful tips! Such a good reminder! I love giving our voices names. Really helps with not overly identifying with them. Many years ago I read a lot about Dissociative Personality Disorder - the mind is a fascinating thing. Now I sometimes try to view my voices in that way. They are all there to help and protect. I want to learn more about IFS, seems to be the same approach. Do you have any experience with IFS?
I have been following you yeeaars back and stopped following when I the fitfluencer thing didn't resonate anymore. So happy I have found you again and see we are on a similar path :)