Sometimes, I really don’t want to meditate, I notice feelings and seeds of tiredness, irritation, anger, annoyance, hyperactivity, overstimulation, and sitting with myself during that time often makes me feel panicked and overwhelmed. But I know that meditation is how I return home. It’s like when you’re not in the mood to leave the house or see your friends, but then when you’re there you remember how nice it is, you remember why you left the house; you like these people!
We often forget that we are changing human beings, we are not the same today as we are yesterday or tomorrow. It’s important to recognise that we will never be ‘fixed’, there will always be joy, there will always be suffering. So when we come to sit on our cushions, we approach our cushion with a different ‘me’ each time. So how do you meet yourself there?
#1. Check in with feelings
Before I sit, I ask myself what feelings are there. It’s a small thing, but instead of saying: ‘I am angry’, I say: ‘I notice there is a feeling of irritation here’. This helps me to not identify with the feeling but to be aware of it instead. I don’t claim it as ‘me’. I then do something to release or counteract that feeling. Sometimes this takes 5 minutes and then I can sit, other times it becomes a meditation in itself; singing, dancing, screaming, whatever, as long at it involves movement of my physical body and often release through my throat (unfortunately for my neighbours and Sid).
#2. Choose appropriate release
There’s an energy that needs to be let out of the body. Once that energy is released, I can usually find the ability to sit. I’m also quite lazy with how I use my body, I often just sit and sway my hips, move my arms, stretch from left to right, or blast a song while I clean my room or go for a run. Whatever helps to release that energy.
Once I am aware of the feeling, I choose the release type that I think will help me best. Whichever release type I choose, I ensure I do it mindfully, paying very close attention to the details; touch, sound, smell, taste, and vision. As a guide, this is what works for me, but have a play and find what works for you.
Feeling Release Type
Anger —> Screaming into pillow
Sadness —> Mirror gazing listening to an uplifting song
Low esteem —> Loving touch; usually moisturising my legs slowly
Irritation —> Dancing to Abba; I particularly like this one
Jealousy —> Visualisation
Spoiler! what works one day may not work the next. So try different types; a routine is predictable and monotonous. The first time I listened to the song Do-Ri-Mi by Julie Andrews I was focusing on my chakras and I kid you not, they lit up inside me like fairy lights! It was very fun. But it only happened once. Now when I listen to the song, it puts me in a great mood, but it hasn’t happened again. You can’t force anything, it will either happen or not, so it’s important to experiment and just have fun with it. 80% of the time, I don’t need a release before I meditate, but I always check-in with myself before I begin.
#3. Choose type of meditation
When I’m noticing anger, I don’t want to listen to a loving kindness meditation, I prefer silence or single minded focus. When I’m noticing feelings of shame or sadness I love me some soppy lovey dovey stuff. Choose the type of meditation to suit your mood.
Feeling Meditation Type
Shame —> Loving kindness
Anxiety —> Mindful walking
Spiralling —> Body scan
Rage —> Single minded focus
Many people struggle with meditation because they believe the only way to do it is to sit, stare at the wall and try not to think too much. But there’s many different types of meditation to do that can help, depending on what feelings are there. So it’s about asking yourself what’s there and providing the recipe for it. Still not sure what meditation to try? Here’s a selection to get your started. I’ve provided a variety of links for different types of meditation; let me know if you try any of the below :)
Loving Kindness Meditation: reminding yourself of the love and goodness of your true self, helps with letting go of shame and guilt; here
Walking Meditation: walk slowly and mindfully paying attention to the placement of each foot on the ground; here
Body Scan Meditation: noticing and awareness to the body, eg pressure of your feet to pumping of your heart, helps with grounding; here
Single Minded Focus Meditation; focusing on one object, eg a candle flame, mark on the wall, assists in quietening spiralling thoughts; here
Transcendental Meditation: allowing all senses and thoughts to arise with the selection of a mantra to bring you back to relaxation; here
SKY Meditation: breath-based technique that uses cyclical, rhythmic patterns of breath to reduce anxieties; here
Maranasati (death) Meditation; aims to remember that death can strike at anytime resulting in a sense of gratitude and purpose; here
With lots of warm hugs,
Madalin