The Dirty Truth Influencers Won’t Tell You

Another clickbait title but not really

As an influencer, I feel the need to consume more and more, to influence people to buy more and more; that’s my job description right? I need new clothes because if I post the same outfit I won’t get as many likes, which is bad for the algorithm, and bad for my brand - I won’t get as many jobs if my engagement rate is <3%.

The dirty truth influencers won’t tell you: you don’t need more stuff.

My job is to convince you that you will be happier and more fulfilled if you buy more stuff. But it’s made me miserable, I feel fake; selling a lie, and I can’t do it anymore. Sure sometimes we need to buy toothpaste and period underwear and I will promote the occasional brand, but really, I just want to say, “save your money, work less, and don’t buy anything”. Influencers talk about transparency and ‘keeping it real’ turns into a branding exercise (she’s so genuine!), when really, if we were actually genuine, we would tell you not to buy anything and our job would not exist. Yup, influencers convince you to buy this buy that, but really influencers should be influencing people to quit consuming. But quitting consumption is not good for business. But I don’t have a business anymore, I’m not really sure what my job is anymore (cue panicked laughter lmao) and I want to influence you to be a quitter! Yay!

One of my favourite types of quitting is long term quitting. Newly acquired habits are easy to let go; but quitting something you’ve done for 5, 10, 15 or 20+ years? Ooofff! That feels good! You’re most likely quitting something that goes against the status quo, goes against the culture, you’re a rebel! But before you burn your bra, let’s do an activity.

What is a habit you’ve had for the last 2-10 years, that you haven’t questioned before? Now, interrogate yourself:
“What influenced me to implement this habit and what are the benefits?”

Habit: Shaving my legs
Benefit: Silky soft legs and attractiveness
Interrogation: If I grow out my leg hair, will my legs still feel soft? Am I using the reason that I like hairless legs as an excuse to continue to shave them because I feel self conscious to let my hair grow? Who said hairless legs were attractive? Are they more attractive? More attractive to whom?
Application: I haven’t shaved my legs in a few months, it’s been easier for me to grow them out as the weather becomes colder, but I wore a bikini to the beach the other day and I didn’t shave them. I felt embarrassed at first and I considered shaving them but embarrassment slowly transformed into stillness; relaxation into who I am. If somebody doesn’t like the hair on my legs, that doesn’t say anything about me, that says something about them, and the culture they’ve been conditioned too. It’s an obvious example of the expectations we have for women, based on sexist and racist beauty standards. I thought I enjoyed the feeling of silky legs, but I actually very much enjoy the wind moving through my hairs as I walk, I enjoy smothering my legs in shea butter every night, and I enjoy seeing hair on my legs for the first time in 22 years; it feels like gentle rebellion.

Here’s a fuller list of everything I’ve quit in the last 6 months if you’re seeking inspo:
1. Alcohol
2. Shopping at Zara
3. Botox Injections
4. Mirror selfies
5. Hair bleach
6. Gym membership
7. 12 step skincare routine
8. Victim mindset
etc etc etc

As I’ve quit so much, I now have more room (and dollars) for other activities, or no activities (I’m a big fan of just doing nothing, it’s anti-establishment lol). As I’m not going to the gym anymore I have time for daily walks and meditation, because I’m not spending any extra money on botox/Zara/skincare, I don’t need to take on as many paid brand collaborations, meaning I only work with brands that I truly love and support, because I have identified my victim mindset I have more compassion and empathy for others in a similar situation, the list is endless!

In the beginning it can feel overwhelming to quit, but then it becomes exciting, like a spring clean that’s well overdue. You realise how much stuff you’ve been hoarding, and when you’re ready to let it go, you easily trash it. Not sure how to be a quitter? Just start with one small thing. It could be removing 1 step from your skincare routine or challenging yourself to buy nothing new for a week. It’s so powerful when you realise you have the ability to go against the status quo.

The industry benefits from desires of the ego; capitalism, patriarchy, consumer culture, they need us to feel we are not enough, to slice off fat, paralyse wrinkles, bleach hair, buy fast fashion, and disguise it all as body positivity, empowerment, self-expression, ‘do it for you!’. Ohh please. We’re doing it for them, for their pockets, we make them richer and we don’t become happier.

“The compulsion to add more and more to the self arises from our denial of all that we are.” - Charles Eisenstein, The Ascent of Humanity 

The truth is; we don’t need to add anything to ourselves. Everything we need is all inside of us. Just waiting for us to wake-up. There will always be people more or less beautiful/rich/funny/smart than ourselves, but the real truth is, we are all the same. No-one is better or worse than another. When you realise this, when you know this, it becomes easy to be a quitter. You’re not attached to any of the stuff you previously placed importance on. You realise it means nothing, it’s simply a story we tell ourselves.

Is it time to opt out of this story and into a new, truer, more beautiful world? I suspect so.

Sending warm hugs!

Maddy x