Guided Meditation
One of the most effective techniques I’ve implemented to connect to my soul is the practice of meditation anchored in loving forgiveness.
But first, story time.
I was in my early 20s dating this guy, and we were having a conversation one night; I said I believe that everyone is inherently good, everyone has this goodness inside of them. He told me that I was idealistic and that of course this can’t be true. I don’t remember any of our any other conversations only that he dumped me and I accused him of stealing my pillow (I only recently forgave him lol).
It’s a truth I’ve felt at different points in my life, when my parents divorced, when I first started questioning my life direction at 15 and now. The belief of ‘the good in people’ is said to be unrealistic, childish and impractical. It’s something amusing and laughable, we shake our heads, oh she’s one of *those* girls.
But holding my truth that people are inherently good, saved me.
I don’t mean to boast, but I have a lot of haters on the internet, you only need to search my name of YouTube to find hours of content describing how awful I am and the hundreds of comments that confirm this. I used to feel an incredible amount of shame and anxiety at these videos. The people pleaser part of me was absolutely distraught, everybody must like me at all times, at all costs! I even had a phone conversation with one of these men, all because I wanted him to like me, but I still harboured resentment towards him. Now I think of these people and can honestly say that I don’t hold any hate towards them. I forgive them whether they accept it or not.
I send them lots of love and nice thoughts and want the very best for them. Because they are truly just like me, deep inside. They are also compassionate, giving, and loving, and I hope that in this lifetime they may know it too. When you can see the soul of another, you can see it in yourself.
You understand that their mistakes originate from their ego, and they are not their ego, just as you are not yours. It doesn’t mean you have to be best buddies with them, you might not like them, but you can love them.
Holding onto hate, resentment, and anger might feel good initially but it simmers below the surface. It is released in spiralling anxiety and fits of rage, in panic attacks and periods of apathy. Letting it go is a freedom.
Oh, but it feels good to hate! Especially somebody that you feel has wronged you, shamed you, made you feel terrible about yourself; how gleeful to see them fail, to continue holding onto that resentment and righteous rage. I don’t want to be the bigger person thank you. Quite happy with hating them, living the victim, and feeling sorry for myself. Quite comfortable here… I get it. In the short term, it may feel easier to hold onto your hatred, but in the long term it destroys you.
Oh, but to forgive.
I’ve forgiven a lot of people I used to despise. They don’t know I’ve forgiven them, but I practice sending them love every morning in my meditations. It feels so nice. Relief flows in, tension flows out. Not only are my senses relaxed, but it has made me into a more compassionate person. I think about why these people said what they said about me. Where does it come from? Are they ruled by the same nasty voices that once dominated me? I feel empathy and love for them, we share the same suffering, we are connected, because I remember: that’s not who they are. And I hope and pray that one day they have the chance to realise that too.
The ability to forgive people who hurt us, to practice that daily, builds compassion not just for others but for ourselves. For if we can love them, we can also love those parts of us that we find difficult to love.
A meditation guided in loving forgiveness
Find a quiet and cosy space and sit cross legged on the floor with your back and neck straight.
Place both your hands on your heart and take a few slowly controlled breathes. In and out, in and out, in and out. Relax your breathing.
Hold somebody in mind who has hurt you. Imagine their ego. Try to understanding why they may have acted this way to you. What experiences have they endured that have shaped their ego? What is their ego compensating for?
Now imagine their soul. Remember their true self (soul) would never hurt you. Their ego hurt you, and they are not their ego. Practice holding that person in your heart and loving them. Their soul is just as loving as your soul.
If your ego is starting to speak up, repeating a mantra can help. I like this one from Maharaj-ji: “Love everyone and tell the truth”.
Imagine a ball of light growing in your chest, focus on the feeling and imagine expanding it beyond your body. Imagine sending this person your light. Continue growing your light, imagining the other person receiving it.
Practice this technique for as many times as you need to. Not only is it incredibly healing for yourself, but it is healing for the world. We could all do with a little more forgiveness, understanding, and compassion. Hold space for people’s mistakes, just as you would wish somebody to do the same for you.
I love you! Keep being your beautiful, magical Self.